Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 




Crouched on old wooden steps
      Between rusting iron bridgework
So cold she can barely breathe
Yet occasionally clouds of hopeless dreams
Kiss the air
               Then fall and shatter at her feet

Toes almost as numb as her heart
        Which even she isn't sure is beating anymore
And as the sun falls off the horizon
A lonley grey lies over the earth
                Holding little promise for tomorrow

The breeze burns into her skin and she smiles
As she remembers how your hands once did the same


No one notices she's gone
                                    And she likes it
In a strange way having no one who cares
Makes pulling the pieces apart so much easier
                  Than having to be watched
But maybe she's just selfconscious

Comfortable in her surroundings
Absorbing everything like it's the first time
There's a sparkle in her eyes
Everything is so much more beautiful....
                                                     When it's the end of the world
©2005-2009 ~Bleeding-wickedly
:iconbleeding-wickedly:

Author's Comments

Went to get some space..this was the result...sorry its not up to much

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconnotrust:
Ah beautiful, I do love the last line most of all. The only small critique I have is on the third line I think you meant for "breath" to be "breathe." But very wonderfully written. :blackrose:

--
"There is something in each of us that wants us to be Unhappy. It creates in our imaginations problems that don't yet exist- quite often causing them to come true."
~Benjamin Hoff The Te of Piglet
:iconkapua:
Quite Visual...I enjoyed it.


--
Check out my poem...I need more critiques
New Poem
:iconbleeding-wickedly:
ooo yeah thank you so much sorry about the typos my hands were so numb I could hardly type at the time, I thought I'd corrected them all...thank you again it means a lot!!!
:hug:
take care
xxxxxxxx

--
Like a little child I'm captivated...and I can't turn myself away
:heart:~ToThyneGrave:heart:
:iconnotrust:
Oh no problem, typos happen to everyone. You can't escape them. Wonderful work! :D

--
"There is something in each of us that wants us to be Unhappy. It creates in our imaginations problems that don't yet exist- quite often causing them to come true."
~Benjamin Hoff The Te of Piglet
:icondarkobsession86:
shiveringly beautiful..
makes me ache inside to read..
so sad, so lonely......so easy to relate to
i love the italisized lines..
and it all flows so well, so easy.. to read so easy

everything is so much more beautiful..
when the world is ending

i love this piece so much..
its so apathetic feeling, with so much emotion
such delicate words

:heart:

--
Commissions + Gift Art + Inspirations
:iconbleeding-wickedly:
I'm speechless...thank you so much thats probably one of the nicest things anyone has said to me ever I don't know what to say...thank you so much :hug:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

--
Like a little child I'm captivated...and I can't turn myself away
:heart:~ToThyneGrave:heart:
:iconvampyrenyx:
It feels like a poem of self discovery. After all the pain and all the suffering, a small spot of peace is found. This piece is haunting and beautiful.

--
Nyx
------------------
"There exist only three beings worthy of respect: the priest, the soldier, the poet. To know, to kill, to create."
Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867), Mon Coeur Mis a Nu, XXII
:relaxed: :absolut:

Details

May 10, 2005
1.2 KB
25.2 KB
614×461

Statistics

19
8 [who?]
200 (0 today)
60 (0 today)

Share

Link
Thumb

Site Map